Co-Parenting: When Enough is Enough

Dear God,

At times I just need you to hold me and say it is well. I am doing my absolute best and sometimes I feel like it is yet still not enough. Continue to guide me Lord as I try to walk the path you set for me. Life is not easy always but with you life is worth every journey and every obstacle. So I’ll continue to trust you. Just don’t leave me.

Amen

I’ve been a mom for 21 years.

And for most of those years, I’ve been a single mom. That’s not something I set out to be, nor is it something I wear like a badge of honor—but it is something I’m proud of. Why? Simply put…because when others gave up, I didn’t.

I’ll be the first to admit, I haven’t been perfect. I’ve dropped the ball. I’ve missed opportunities. I’ve let my kids down at times, by no means am I proud. I’m also the one who showed up, who’s always made ways when I didn’t even know how.

I’ve been there at school assemblies, sporting events, parent-teacher conferences, IEP meetings, and disciplinary hearings. I’ve been willing to go to war behind mines. I have sat in rooms full of professionals, fighting to make sure my child’s needs were heard and respected. I’ve sacrificed countless hours of work, stability, and even my own well-being just to try to make sure my kids didn’t feel alone…and to ensure they knew they were loved.

The part that cuts the deepest is knowing that two people created these children, but only one consistently shows up. Parenting isn’t supposed to be a one-person job. It’s supposed to be a team effort—but when one parent opts out, the other is left to carry it all. And let me tell you, that weight is heavy.

I’ve sat back and asked for nothing, and still been criticized. I’ve asked for help, and been ignored or torn down. It feels like a lose-lose situation—where no matter how much I give, it’s never acknowledged, and no matter how much I ask, it’s never received.

And so, after more than two decades of showing up for my children while navigating the absence of a true co-parent, I find myself asking: When is enough, enough?

The truth is—only you can decide that moment for yourself.

For me, “enough” doesn’t mean quitting. It doesn’t mean walking away. It means shifting my expectations. It means refusing to keep pouring from an empty cup. It means no longer waiting for someone else to suddenly become the parent they should have been all along.

“Enough” means giving myself permission to release the resentment and focus on the love, joy, and stability I do bring into my children’s lives.

“Enough” means setting boundaries so my children can see what healthy love and responsibility look like.

“Enough” means teaching them that even if life isn’t always fair, we don’t have to let bitterness win.

Co-parenting isn’t always 50/50. Sometimes it’s 100/0. And while that reality hurts, it also reveals a truth that many of us don’t give ourselves enough credit for: single parents are some of the strongest people on this earth. We carry double the weight, make double the sacrifices, and give double the love.

So if you’re reading this and you feel the same ache I do—wondering when “enough” is enough—know this: you don’t have to keep waiting for someone to step up. You are already enough.

With love,

Simply Shaye ❤️