From Failure to Faith: A Single Mom’s Journey

Dear God,

As I enter the year of 2025, I offer my thanks to You. Another year has passed, and I am still standing. Had it not been for Your mercy and grace, I would have lost my mind. I owe my life to You, God. Thank You for Your protection. Thank You for waking me up to see another new day that has never been seen before. I could not do this thing called life without You. Thank You for all You have done, all that is to come, and everything unseen. In Jesus name I pray, thank God. Amen.

Happy New Year, all!

I have missed writing. I did not realize how much I enjoy it until I took a break. I have made a promise to myself that no matter what I am juggling or how hard life gets, I will take time for myself. Most importantly, I have promised to take time for my children. Even though I am blogging now, I plan to take a break every December to reflect and enjoy all that God has done throughout the year. Consider it my reset button.

I have spent a large part of my life as a single mother. Over the past 21 years, I have watched more cartoons than I can count: Barney, Dora the Explorer, Baby Einstein, Little Einsteins, Jake and the Neverland Pirates, Baby Shark, and now Gracie’s Corner, to name a few. The goal of these shows has always been the same: bright colors, catchy songs, and good teaching points.

That is what parenting is…teaching moments, along with protection and a few other exhausting yet rewarding things. When our children are young, we teach them to walk, talk, and feed themselves. As they grow, we teach them not to talk to strangers and how to have manners. In those tumultuous teen years, we teach them morals and values. And in adulthood, we guide them toward reaching goals, maintaining good credit, and living independently.

But the truth is, our children teach us just as much as we teach them. My oldest daughter taught me maturity. Her arrival made it clear, it was time to grow up. My second daughter taught me love on a different level. Her first asthma attack terrified me, and it unlocked a deeper level of love I did not know existed. My oldest son taught me empathy, as his birth came during one of the darkest years of my life. His sweet face reminded me never to lose my sense of compassion. My youngest son taught me patience. Raising him differently from my other children was a challenge, but it shaped me in ways I will forever cherish. And my niece? She is still teaching me. So far, forgiveness seems to be her gift to me.

One thing is certain: my heart and life would be incomplete without these children.

Raising two daughters as a single mom in my early years was perhaps my most challenging season. I was young, eager, and afraid. I did not want to lead them astray. I wanted to discipline them without being too harsh, so they would feel comfortable coming to me with their questions. I kept them close, rarely allowing them to visit their friends homes. Instead, I welcomed them into mine, which felt safer to me.

Over time, God gave me more blessings. He gave me a son during a challenging season. After multiple miscarriages and being told I would never conceive again, He proved them wrong when I welcomed another healthy baby boy. Then, when I lost my father and stepmom, God blessed me with my niece, a baby girl who contributed to the light in my dark days.

Yet every day of motherhood, one word haunted me: failure. My greatest fear was failing as a mom; failing to protect, provide, teach, inspire, and encourage. The thought of falling short weighed heavily on me.

As little girls, we are often taught to dream of marriage and family, complete with Prince Charming and a happily-ever-after. But life does not always unfold that way. My story was not a fairytale. I fell off the horse of love, got back on, and fell again. Each time felt harder than the last. By the third time, I was dragged down a highway and left for dead-figuratively speaking.

Life, too, knocked me down. Year after year, it hit me like a piñata, breaking me into pieces. Despite wearing a bright smile for my kids, hurt consumed me. I could not fail them. That is until I did.

I remember losing control, my emotions spilling out like poison. For three years, I operated on autopilot. It took me that long to get up, dust myself off, and stop pitying myself. During those years, I realized I was a great mom, not perfect, but present. I learned my worth and came to see that God always has a plan.

Eventually, I heard Gods voice: If My Son can do it, so can you.

Parenting does not come with a handbook. No one stands beside us to guide every decision. We rely on our experiences and Gods grace. Failure is debilitating, but for a single parent, it can be paralyzing. Yet Proverbs 24:16 reminds us: “For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief.” I fell three times and it knocked me down. God carried me when I could not stand. He removed the wrong people from my life, shielded me from harm, and waited patiently for me to walk again. His grace and mercy is unmatched.

To my fellow single parents: God sees you. He hears your silent prayers. You are appreciated, loved, and valued. Even when life feels overwhelming, remember you are doing a great job. Keep going. Your children see you, even when they do not say it. And most importantly, God is with you every step of the way.

Go in peace, for God is love.

Signing off…

Simply Shaye ❤️