Touchy Topics: Why My Body’s Screaming and I’m Listening (Sometimes)

Dear God,

I know sometimes you look down at me and think…girl what are you doing? As I grow into the vibrant woman destiny has planned for me, I just want to stay in your will. So please continue to look low while you sit high. Thank you for never forgetting me.

Amen

🚨 Trigger Warning: This post is full of grown-woman honesty, sexual energy, and a few moments where my body had to be reminded who’s in charge. If you’re uncomfortable with talk of womanhood in its rawest form—this may not be for you. But if you’ve ever felt like your body is betraying you in broad daylight? Pull up a chair, sis.🚨

Let me be real: I’m 41, but my drive is acting like it just got a learner’s permit. I don’t know what hormonal magic potion kicks in after 40, but chile… it’s like the volume knob on my libido got snatched off and I can’t turn it down. I feel like I’m a teenager all over again—but wiser, curvier, and with kids and bills.

I’m out here minding my business—driving, at work, folding laundry—and boom. That heat hits. Suddenly, I’m contemplating all kinds of nonsense like, “Would anybody notice if I excused myself for a lil… moment?” Ok relax, I don’t act on it, but whew—the urge be urging!

What’s crazy about that you ask? I can’t just lay with any person. So while I am ready to go most times of the day AND night (inserts hard eye roll), being single means it’s just me, myself, and I, or whatever Beyoncé said!

Why Is This Happening?! Is this happening to you?? Well, it turns out, we are not alone. A lot of women experience a surge in sex drive in their late 30s and 40s. Hormones, confidence, emotional freedom—all of it starts aligning. Add to that years of neglecting our own needs for kids, work, relationships—and baby, the body is done waiting for permission.

So What Do You Do?

Well… first, you listen. Then, you remind her: we grown, but we got things to do! Here’s how I’m learning to honor the energy without letting it run the show:

  1. Redirect the Heat: A walk, a workout, even cleaning (yes, cleaning!) can help burn off that intense energy.
  2. Create a Self-Pleasure Ritual: Not just a “quickie before the kids wake up,” but a moment—candles, oils, music, you. Because we deserve that softness.
  3. Laugh About It: Humor has saved my sanity. If I can’t talk about this stuff with a little laughter, I’ll explode—or worse, act on impulse during a staff meeting! (I kid…or do I?)
  4. Don’t Shame Yourself: Wanting intimacy doesn’t make you desperate, dirty, or broken. It makes you human. Beautiful, alive, powerful, and maybe just a little bit reckless.


This stage of life is wild—but freeing. I’m finally learning that my body isn’t something to be silenced. She’s not the enemy—she’s just loud sometimes. And honestly? I kinda love that for me. You should love it for you too!

To all my 40+ queens out there whose bodies are whispering (or screaming) “Girl, touch me!”—you’re not crazy. You’re in bloom. Just don’t forget: you’re the boss, not the booty.

With love, faith, and grace,

Simply Shaye ❤️

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