Grown Woman Ish: Navigating Dating and Standing Up for Yourself

Dear God,

My life wouldn’t be the same without you. As I navigate this life, I continue to remain grateful that you are the head of my life. As I move forward I beg you continue to order my steps, block everything that is wrong, and make clear every answer to decisions that would be right. Thank you for never forgetting me.

Amen.

There comes a point in every woman’s journey where she realizes—I’m not begging for bare minimum anymore. I’ve cried the tears, done the healing, and learned that softness doesn’t mean silence. This is grown woman ish. And dating? Whew. That’s a whole different game when you’re no longer willing to shrink just to be chosen. The dating pool is TAINTED!

Embracing Your Worth

As women—especially those balancing multiple roles in life—we carry a wisdom forged by experience. We know how to pour into others and stand strong amid life’s challenges. But when it comes to love, we deserve someone who not only recognizes our depth but meets us halfway. Heck, sometimes they may have to go more than half the way…but let’s face it so do we as women. It’s about showing up authentically, stating our needs clearly, and standing by our boundaries without apology.

I once felt burdened by societal expectations, believing that vulnerability meant being weak or overly accommodating. Over time, I learned that real vulnerability is power when paired with self-respect. I’m no longer willing to settle for fleeting promises or half-hearted check-ins. I deserve consistency, intentionality, and respect—qualities that far outweigh any outdated checklist.

Learning to Communicate with Love and Clarity

Navigating relationships can be even trickier when there’s an age gap or when one partner is still honing their communication skills. I’ve encountered moments where the energy between us didn’t quite line up until we opened up about our real needs. It’s not about molding someone into who you expect them to be—it’s about inspiring mutual growth by modeling the behavior you wish to see.

For example, I’ve learned that simply saying, “I feel really good when we talk openly, and I love hearing your thoughts,” sets a positive precedent. I had to learn that it isn’t about issuing a lecture—it’s an invitation to build something genuine together. When your partner steps up, even in small ways, acknowledge it. That validation forms the foundation of a healthy partnership, where both people feel safe, seen, and valued.

Turning Vulnerability into Strength

One of the most powerful tools in our dating arsenal is vulnerability. It takes courage to share your true feelings—not just the easy, fun parts, but also the parts that require understanding and care. When you invite someone to be vulnerable, you’re creating a space where both of you can grow. This might mean expressing, “I need more consistency,” or “I need to feel like I’m a priority,” without guilt.

It’s about pairing your softness with firm boundaries: your time and energy are precious, and they deserve to be treated with care. A relationship should be a mutual exchange rather than a one-sided effort. If you consistently feel like you’re doing most of the guiding while not receiving much in return, that imbalance might be a sign to reassess the dynamics.

Age Gaps and the Lessons They Bring

Dating someone younger can be both invigorating and challenging. Younger partners often bring spontaneity, fresh perspectives, and a hunger for life that can reignite your own spark. However, an age gap can sometimes mean differences in life experience or communication styles. The key is to focus on the energy gap rather than the number gap.

Ask yourself: Is he emotionally mature and willing to grow alongside you? Does he listen and acknowledge your feelings while showing up with intention? If the answer is yes, then that gap becomes just another number—insignificant next to the quality of connection you share. However, if there’s a clear misalignment, it’s essential to have an honest conversation about your needs. Trust that you deserve someone who meets you fully where you are.

Living Your Grown Woman Ish

At the end of the day, living your grown woman ish means celebrating who you are without compromise. It’s about taking up space, advocating for your needs, and refusing to settle for less than you deserve. Whether you’re navigating a budding relationship or deepening an existing one, remember that your voice matters. Let your standards shine as a beacon—not just for yourself, but for anyone who dares to love you authentically.

If you ever feel pressure to settle for less, remind yourself: You’re not here to fill a role or meet an expectation—you’re here to build a life and love that honor every aspect of your beautifully complex self. Embrace the journey, communicate with your heart, and stand tall in your soft, undeniable, grown woman power.

Let’s wrap it up!!

Dating and communication—especially when age differences or varying life stages are involved—is a continuous journey of self-discovery and growth. Stay curious. Remain honest with both yourself and your partner, and always put self-love first. Every step you take, every boundary you set, is a testament to the incredible, empowered woman you are.

Keep shining, keep loving yourself, and never be afraid to demand the quality connection you deserve. It’s ok to walk away from ANYONE who doesn’t compliment where you are in life. What does that mean? If they’re not willing to meet, match or be better, bye bye!

With love faith and grace,

Simply Shaye ❤️