Embracing the Spectrum: Our Family’s Journey with Autism

Dear God,

Whatever You have for us, I know it is for us. Thank You for sitting high and looking low. Thank You for continually proving the doubters wrong and providing a peace that surpasses all understanding. Lord, I trust You.

Amen.

Most parents would agree: our children are our kryptonite. For me, there’s no faster way to get me amped up and out of character than messing with one of my babies. And yes, I said babies. My 19- and 20-year-olds, along with my six-foot-something 17-year-old, and my four year old terrorist, will always be my babies.

That mother’s instinct, the one that clicks the moment you find out you’re pregnant, is life-changing. It shifts your entire world for the better, and I’m just so grateful that God chose me to be their mom.

I could go on about motherhood for hours, but today I want to focus on my sweet 12-year-old son. Despite his autism diagnosis, he’s all boy—cracking jokes, eating like he has a bottomless pit for a stomach, and living life to the fullest. He’s the sweetest and smartest 12-year-old you’ll ever meet.

One of the most beautiful parts of my son is his love for God. He prays every single morning without fail, and if he hears someone is sick, he immediately stops what he’s doing to pray for them. His heart is pure, his intelligence is unmatched, and his love is boundless.

He’s not so different from other kids his age. He loves his toys, playing video games, watching reels on social media, and swimming. Lately, he’s taken an interest in sneakers—Jordans, to be specific—and his shoe size is just about the same as mine! Not to mention, he’s almost taller than me.

My son was diagnosed with autism at age three, but before that, he hit every milestone early. As a baby, he was chunky, adorable, and full of personality. I vividly remember when things began to change. After his first-year vaccinations—four or five shots at once—everything shifted. He stopped making eye contact, and the few words he had been saying dwindled to just two. They call it regression.

Loud noises terrified him, and he’d panic—sometimes biting out of fear or running away. We had to install alarms on windows and doors to keep him safe. During those moments, if you were holding him, you might have been on the receiving end of a bite.

We knew something had changed, but doctors brushed it off, assuring us he’d return to “normal” soon. He didn’t.

There’s no definitive cause of autism, but as his mom, I strongly believe that giving him too many vaccinations at one time affected his brain. (Parents, you can request no more than two vaccines at a time—it might mean an extra visit, but it’s worth it!)

After a year of evaluations and many denials for services, we finally got a diagnosis and could access the therapies he needed. His therapists were amazing, working with him two to three times a week with endless patience. They let him express his frustration, then gently guided him to the correct way of doing things. Our home became an obstacle course of learning and growth.

During his evaluation, we were told to learn sign language because he might never speak many words. They warned us he might struggle with potty training or not graduate on time. But we believed God had more in store for him than the “might nots.” So, we prayed, worked hard and trusted Him.

His older sisters, still young themselves, were patient and loving. They didn’t care about the diagnosis—he was just their brother. Everything the therapists recommended, they helped with. It wasn’t easy, especially when he cried, but they pushed him, and together we supported him as a family.

Fast forward to 2024—my, how times have changed! We worked with him daily, even when it was hard for all of us. Occupational therapy taught us to use yoga blocks for balance and focus or shaving cream to help him adjust to new textures. Today, OT is down to once a week, focusing on puberty, bullying, and self-expression to name a few topics.

Slowly but steadily, he began to use ASL to speak his needs, and eventually, words followed! Eye contact, the hardest milestone, returned in time. Potty training? On time. School? He started on schedule, too. Now he’s in middle school, earning straight A’s. I love telling that story because he keeps proving that his story is God’s story and no one else’s.

As an autism mom, I made it my mission to learn everything I could to help him thrive. The truth is, he may always be different, and as a family, we’re okay with that. We just want him to reach his full potential and function confidently in society.

He faces challenges, like straying off-topic during conversations, missing social cues, or taking things literally. He’s learning to navigate these, but sometimes people don’t understand him.

Just last year in public school he was bullied. Daily he would go to school feeling like he had to defend himself. As a mom, that was the hardest thing to witness. As his parents we agreed it was best for him to go to a school that worked with kids with special needs. Bullying was hard to explain to a child who doesn’t fully grasp what’s happening. Now, he is able to learn in peace and he is continuing to grow as we knew he would.

Despite it all, his intelligence shines. During COVID, he hacked his school Chromebook and renamed all his classmates after characters from Zootopia! He is also a walking encyclopedia on many things but dinosaurs and animals are his specialty.

Raising a child with autism has its ups and downs. You need patience and understanding. My older daughters joke about how he gets away with more than they ever would, and honestly, I sometimes know it too. But parenting is about meeting each child where they are and helping them grow from there.

As he enters his teenage years, we’re navigating new challenges. He’s noticing girls are cute and thinks money grows on trees! We are guiding him to age-appropriate activities to stimulate his mind, but he still loves toys he enjoyed years ago.

Life with him wouldn’t be the same without his pure heart and boundless love. We trust God to guide us daily and believe he’ll thrive as he grows.

To all the autism parents out there: you got this. The autism spectrum is vast, and every family faces unique challenges, but at the heart of it, we all want the same—happy, safe, fulfilled lives for our children.

Keep advocating. Keep loving. You are not alone.

Signing off…

Simply Shaye ❤️